Bad Idea Catalogue's Journal|
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Bad Idea Catalogue's LiveJournal:
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|Wednesday, January 7th, 2009|
The Matrix on Ice
This astounding event brings the excitement of the movie trilogy to your local ampitheater...on ice! Thrill as you see your favorite scenes re-enacted with fanciful figure skating:
*Morpheous "jumps" from behind a cardboard skyscraper to another cardboard skyscraper, while Neo falls flat on the ice.
*Neo "fights" hordes of men in suits with amazing spins and twirls.
*With figure eights, spins, and pirouettes, Neo and allies shoot at thugs with gun props while the speaker system supplies the sounds of gunfire. Dead thugs skate backwards into the dark instead of falling over and acting dead.
*The Oracle shows herself to be surprisingly spry as she skates through her kitchen while chain smoking.
The show will be largely musical, with only small bits of dialogue in between lengthy dance numbers.
|Wednesday, July 4th, 2007|
Forget what you know about robots that change into cars and vice versa. We're talking about farmers that turn into really ugly women with a bad fashion sense. Trans Farmers is a movie about transsexuals who run a dairy farm in Newhaven, Conneticut. If you liked Brokeback Mountain, try this!
|Monday, May 21st, 2007|
Certain Taco Bell restaurants only serve people in cars after midnight. You can't walk up to the drive-through and get service, but what about a cardboard car?
Apparently, this doesn't work, either, unless you have a friend's car handy, and you want a free soda.
"We created a carboard car, a nice one too, with a roof and everything. We walked a good half-a-mile or more to the Taco Bell. We have drunk frat guys and wasted soroity girls giving us encouragment as we race to meet the 2AM deadline. We have people stoping on the street to take pictures of us as we daodge trees and mind speedbumps(...)We were drawing a crowd, it was GREAT. Sadly, Taco Bell had to refuse us service, so....we ditched the car and hoped into our friend's truck. The manager at Taco Bell loved how creative we were and gave us free large sodas!"
Okay. Cardboard doesn't work, but you get an A+ for creativity. Now how about a tractor or a riding mower?
Credit: Cantofox (http://cantofox.livejournal.com/16799.html
|Friday, May 18th, 2007|
Queer Exodus. I didn't make this up.
Here's the basic gist of it: This person feels that gays are mistreated, America is a `lost cause,' so all gays should move to another country.
Gee, I wonder why more people aren't interested?
"The political climate in the United States is getting increasingly hostile towards GLBT people. I, for one, believe it is time to encourage all GLBT people and GLBT-friendly people to leave the United States, preferably in favour of western Europe or other regions which have a less repressive, less regressive, less religious outlook, and thus less prejudice against us. To that end, I am setting up an effort called 'Queer Exodus'.( Read more...Collapse )
"...And we'll all go to Canada!"
And to think. Hitler forced
people to leave his country!
|Tuesday, May 15th, 2007|
The Nutcracker: The Roleplaying Game
From the makers of Swan Lake(tm)! In this game, you are the Nutcracker, a prince turned into a doll specially designed for crushing hard fruit. Your quest: turn back into a handsome young prince in tight fitting leotards by defeating an evil rat. Along the way, you must battle hordes of ballerinas and men in pantyhose.
Watching Paint Dry: The Video Game
Forget what you know about video games. WPD the video game will blow all of those other games out of the bucket. In WPD, you play as Farmer Jim, or Farmer Bob, as you slap paint on the ol' barn and watch it dry. Choose from over 3,000 colors! Hours of quality, decent, nonviolent entertainment. Rated T for suggestive paint blotches.
MTV's "Watching Paint Dry"
No, it's not about remodeling a house. MTV's new reality show is about, well, putting paint up on the side of the ol' barn, and watching it dry. Seriously entertaining.
The Big Lebowsky: The RPG
New from TSR! It's The Big Lebowsky roleplaying scenario. This game centers around "The Dude" and his world. The first portion of the book covers the history of "The Dude" in more detail than you really need. Chapter 1 describes his epic conflicts at the dry cleaners. Chapter 2 involves the debacle of the urine soaked rug. Etcetera. Book contains detailed maps of the bowling alley, the rich guy's house and other locations in the film, as well as in-depth biographies of all the characters.
|Tuesday, April 24th, 2007|
A bad RPG idea
This is a "furry" RPG that only involves cats and dogs.
Undaunted by the strict species ruling, I tried sending a message.
I said I was "new to the kennel club," and I asked, "Does this have anything to do with Road Rovers?"
My message was banned from the group.
And you wonder why some groups have no members!
|Wednesday, April 4th, 2007|
Integrated Con Artists International
ICAI is one of the internet's oldest communities, dating back to the beginning of the internet.
Starting with the invention of web spam, ICAI has been busy coming up with internet solutions that everybody hates. Here are a few of the many services ICAI has provided over the years:
*The Pyramid, Int'l.
*"God will punish you with eternal punishment if you don't forward this chain letter."
*Mailing list "removal" sites that actually sign users up for other spambots.
*The Nigerian project.
*Filter dodging advertisement production.
*IM XXX advertabots.
*Automated Yahoo group "informers."
*Bank account "routing number transferrence" messages.
Speaking of bad ideas...The BDSM Haiku
Someone sent me a really lame idea. It's too much work to do it right.
"Help, help, I am tied up in my basement.
Don't look, I'm in a leather gimp suit.
Help, help me please.
She left me for Larry.
I have no clothes.
Oh, won't someone help me?"
Here was the original concept:( Read more...Collapse )
Personal information: The Internet Game
In this exciting new internet game by ICAI, players input all their personal information (social security numbers, bank account routing numbers, credit card information and passwords, residential addresses and phone numbers) in order to participate in an exciting web based video game.
Get your turn to shine in the internet limelight as your personal data is displayed on a publicly viewable BBS, accessable by all major search engines.
In addition to partipating in a thrilling fantasy quest adventure, players get a chance to enrich the life of a convicted felon, give hungry foreign workers free room and board, courtesy the U.S. government, or participate in a Killer
|Monday, April 2nd, 2007|
Ow! My Balls! The Video Game
Play as the star of Ow! My Balls, and avoid getting kicked in the crotch. Secret passwords allow you to also kick people in the crotch.
Ow! My Balls!: $45.99
The Book of Psalms: The Movie
Yes, we've all seen cinematic versions of Genesis, Exodus, and all the gospels, but what about Psalms? The book of Psalms is a rich fountain of wisdom for at least three different religions, deserving its own moment of cinematic glory. Famed director David Schmelton translates this book of poetry, prayers and hymns into a solid multimedia experience for the whole family.
Also from David Schmelton:
The Lineage of Jesus
Spaceballs 2: The Search For More Money
This sprawling epic centers around the origins of Dark Helmet, his childhood, youth and adulthood. Young Rick Moranis builds Rosie the robot and travels to the planet of the Mogs, where we meet young Barf (played by that fat guy from Mad TV). Chris Rock plays Jahjah, a Jamaican taxi driver. Mel Brooks reprises his role as Yogurt, but now he plays a younger, more limber version of himself, fighting scores of fragile looking robots with the power of the Schwartz. As the story continues, young Rick turns to the dark side of the Schwartz and surrounds himself with Assholes. Carrie Fischer plays the princess Amigdala.
Kikkoman Crunch Cereal
Move over, Cap'n! There's a new taste on the horizon! Tired of all those unhealthy sugar sweetened breakfast cereals? Not in the mood for another flavorless bowl of Muesli? Bored of eating Raisin Bran and Grape Nuts? Looking for something more...savory? Why not try a delicious bowl of Kikkoman? Kikkoman Crunch Cereal is an all natural, delicious blend of dried water chestnuts, crunchy chow mein noodles and dehydrated bean sprouts, flavored with real Kikkoman soy sauce! A tasty, savory way to get all 13 essential vitamins and minerals your body needs. Just add milk and enjoy! Buy it wherever quality boxed cereals are sold.
Kikkoman Crunch: $1.00
General Tso's Chicken Pops: $1.10
Chow Mein Puffs (La Choy): $1.00
Chlorophyll: The Roleplaying Game
Arguably, the simplest fantasy roleplaying game ever imagined. Gamers play as one of a thousand different species of plants, permanently rooted in a patch of dirt somewhere on the earth's surface. The goal of the game is to grow, absorb sunlight, water, and soil nutrients while simultaneously providing breathable air for all life on earth. Campaign supplements describe additional plant classes, ecologically minded games about pollution and deforestation, and a multitude of historically themed adventures.
Chrlorophyll Player's Manual: $10.94
Supplement: Nazrullah's Poppy Fields: $10.94
Supplement: Colombian Gold: $9.99
Cyberplant Roleplaying System: $18.99
Advanced Dungeons & Fungis: $24.95
Silt & Starships: $18.95
Sedimentation Player's Manual: $10.88
Baby's Diaper Cereal
Look out, Sonny! Something new has popped out for breakfast! Delicious, whole grain babies with sweetened marshmallow diapers and brown chocolate turds.
Baby's Diaper Cereal: $1.25
Puppy's Got Worms: $0.75
New "Extreme" shows
Television producers have found amazing success with new shows featuring drastically redesigned versions of already popular cartoon characters and calling the program "extreme." G.I. Joe Extreme, Ninja Turtles Extreme, He-Man Extreme, Transformers Extreme and Ghostbusters Extreme are some examples.
But why stop there? Here are a few more shows to add to the already booming "extreme" market:
Shirt Tales Extreme: A group of dark, brooding animal superheroes fight against scores of dark, disfigured cybervillains in a park.
The-Get-Along-Gang Extreme: A group of dark, brooding animal superheroes with a caboose resembling a military barracks fight against scores of dark, disfigured cybervillains.
Denver the Last Dinosaur Extreme: A dark, brooding dinosaur superhero and a group of dark teenager superheroes fight against scores of dark, disfigured cybervillains.
Carebears Extreme: A group of dark, brooding teddy bear superheroes fight against scores of dark, disfigured cybervillains with evil looking rainbow blasts.
Punky Brewster Extreme: A dark, brooding preteen superheroine and an equally dark floating rat fight against scores of dark, disfigured cybervillains with clumsily executed magic spells.
The Adventures of Little Koala Extreme: A group of dark, brooding Australian animal superheroes have tea and go parasailing.
The Wuzzles Extreme: A group of dark, brooding half-and-half animal creatures handle interpersonal conflicts.
Dora the Explorer Extreme: A dark, brooding child superhero teaches children how to identify words and objects.
Lorenzo's Oil: The Video Game
Join two doctors on their epic quest to cure Lorenzo's fatal disease. Spend countless hours studying medical texts and experimenting with various non-traditional medicines. Will you find the cure before Lorenzo turns into a lifeless vegetable? Oh wait. He already is one.
Lorenzo's Oil: The Video Game: $59.95
The Boys In The Band: The Video Game:
Priscilla: Queen of the Desert (Xbox):
Winston Churchhill (PS2): $60.00